Expenses and Corruption

Unlike those nearer home, members of the Bangladesh parliament do not need to fiddle expense claims for "second homes" if their constituencies are distant from the capital city, Dhaka. It's all thanks to the Chinese.

Yes, really.

China has strong links with BD, and has provided accommodation in Dhaka for MPs who have to travel there from distant parts. It's all part of the drive to increase China's influence in Asia. The Chinese have also erected five much-needed "China-Bangladesh friendship bridges" in the country so traffic can cross certain rivers instead of making long detours. Rivers in BD are often wide.

Remember though, BD was until recently ranked the most corrupt country in the world by Transparency International, and it's still only a few places down in the list. Some of the things happening there in the name of politics could make your hair curl. Let's just say they tend to involve the use of live ammunition, bully boys ("musclemen") and oodles of bribery. You need boatloads of cash to even get started in local politics, never mind enter the national scene.

NABO

Anyone who has a boat on the British canal system should think hard about helping to preserve the network. An easy way to do this is to support the National Association of Boat Owners (NABO) by joining and, if possible, serving. The annual membership fee is less than the cost of a night out.

Just direct your browser to http://www.nabo.org.uk/ and take it from there.

No comment needed

Just check this link:

www.thedailystar.net/newDesign/news-details.php?nid=89864

then decide how much you'll send to help alleviate hardship resulting from flooding caused by the blocking of this city's waterways. Believe me, there will be flooding and it will be their own fault.

Night Cruising

For obvious reasons, hire companies forbid their hirers to travel at night. Probably there's a prohibition in their insurance coverage.

But British Waterways rules permit cruising 24 hours a day, and as a private boat owner I hope this never stops. All you need is a white light at the front of the boat, common sense and sobriety. In windy weather, the air is often much calmer at night; there's little or no other traffic to bother you; grotty urban scenery can look quite different at night and out in the country when the moon is full the effect is sublime.

Of course, you do need to be extra careful when working the locks, especially where there are no helpful street lights ... don't try this after an evening in the pub!

There's no canal "season"

Finally, a bit about the joys of canal cruising, aka ditch-crawling, coupled with a wee whinge:

Like most boat owners I pay a 12-month licence fee to British Waterways, the body which oversees our nationally-owned inland waterway network. I take exception to comments about the "boating season" which emanate from some BW office wallahs, because there's no such thing. I've cruised all year round, been iced in, been held up by maintenance work (scheduled and emergency stoppages) and enjoyed every minute. Long may we all be able to do so.

Even hire companies, which used to operate almost entirely between March and October, are now 12-month businesses, though obviously much busier during the milder months.

Talk about the "busy season" by all means but please, BW office wallah, acknowledge there's no such thing as a "boating season."

Ball lightning

"Until February of 2006 there was no convincing laboratory demonstration of ball lightning."
[ www.crystalinks.com/ball_lightning.html ]

Putting it another way: For more than 60 years my description of the ball lightning I'd seen as a kid in a Warwickshire school playground - a dozen classmates also saw it - was met with disbelief. Once the phenomenon had been produced in a laboratory, suddenly "everyone knows there's no such thing" had to be re-phrased.

My hope now is that scientists will one day prove reincarnation. If people knew they would have to be re-born (many times according to those who believe in it) they just might stop making such a mess of the environment. If the people causing toxic waste to be dumped knew there was a strong chance of being re-born as farmers in the affected area, would they be so cavalier in their behaviour? Would the poisoners of rivers be so slapdash if they knew they might have to drink from the same watercourse, two or three generations later?

Corruption in public life

During my two extended trips to Bangladesh, five out of the past six months being spent in that country, I was from time to time assured that BD is mired in corruption, "unlike England."

Politely I assured people that we too had our corruption, but it was more subtle, less pervasive. How little I knew.

Fiddling expenses

Back in the good old/bad old days all trainee reporters were given advice on how to fiddle their expense claims. There was a kind of gentlemen's agreement between proprietors and employees: They knew our wages were rubbish and were prepared to turn a blind eye to moderate inflation of genuine expense claims.

Thus, a pie and a pint in the local boozer, where you might have exchanged a few words with a local beat bobby (off duty of course), would go down as a three-course meal "entertaining senior police contact" ; fictitious detours could be added to straight there-and-back journeys to bump up the mileage claim and so on.

The vital piece of advice was, if challenged, never reduce your claim. To do so would be tantamount to admitting that you had claimed falsely in the first place. Instead, you had to "recall" some expenditure you had accidentally "forgotten" to include on the original expenses form. A favourite with photographers was "hire of elevation" where they pretended they had slipped some householder money for the use of their step-ladder, to enable the snapper to get a clear view over the heads of the crowd at whatever event it was.

I've forgotten his name, but a photographer on a regional newspaper became a living legend in the 1970s when his original, genuine, claim for about £70-00 out of pocket expenses on a foreign trip was returned, repeatedly. Each time he remembered another taxi fare, another drink bought for some contact, another gratuity ... the management finally caved in when the total claimed reached £250-00, the final claim being for, yes, "hire of elevation."

For a scribbler like me, the easiest add-on would be the cost of phone calls from a public phone box. The onward march of technology would make such a claim laughable now ; how long before we'll need to explain what a public call box was?

All Hail Heather Brooke

For years, Heather Brooke has battled to get the British Government to reveal details that in many other countries would be freely available. She is a journalist in the old-fashioned mode, worthy of comparison with Duncan Webb,James Cameron, and many another sadly no longer with us. All she wanted to know was: How much of our money were MP's claiming, and what for?

The information she was after was eventually leaked to the Daily Telegraph. Could anyone fail to be amused/disgusted by the behaviour of so many British Members of Parliament, as revealed by the newspaper for the past week?

Much of it falls into the category "You couldn't make it up" alias "If you'd put this in a novel they'd have said it was too far-fetched."

See http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ for gob-smacking details.

For a compare-and-contrast between the USA and the UK, see

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/may/15/mps-expenses-heather-brooke-foi

(and if you're British, weep).

Public Transport in BD

Public transport in BD is ridiculously cheap. A nine-hour journey in a first-class sleeping compartment with air-conditioning and attentive service from the catering staff cost the two of us less than a tenner in English money, and that was after the pound had dropped from 140 Taka to around 100 Tk.

Some folk had suggested using the long-distance buses, which are usually even cheaper. Luckily we'd seen buses in operation on our previous visit, while travelling by private car. Bus drivers in BD are described as being "among the most reckless in the world." Ten minutes on any highway shows you what they mean.

A few surprises

The best laid plans of mice and men etc. We arrived in BD expecting to spend a few days in a guest house or hotel while we examined the various places people had suggested we stay, but it was not to be.
By phone, before we left Britain, a friend had assured us he lived in a nice area, and could arrange rental of a nice unfurnished flat nearby. On our arrival we found he'd attached himself to our welcoming committee and was insisting we stay at his home. Fair enough, we thought, give it a go, what's to lose? Hmmm ...